
Unity candle ceremonies are a popular way to symbolise the union of two people in a wedding ceremony. The ceremony involves two taper candles, representing each individual, and a larger unity candle, representing the couple's union. During the ceremony, each member of the couple lights a taper candle and simultaneously lights the unity candle. The ceremony is often accompanied by a meaningful poem or passage and can include family members or friends. The unity candle ceremony is a relatively recent tradition, originating in the 1970s, and is popular in humanist and secular weddings as a non-religious ritual.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Number of candles | 3 (2 taper candles and 1 unity candle) |
| Who lights the taper candles? | The couple will decide who lights the tapers. Options include the couple, mothers of the couple, fathers of the couple, siblings, children, friends, or the officiant. |
| Who lights the unity candle? | The couple |
| When is the unity candle lit? | Usually after the couple's wedding vows and ring exchange, but can take place at any time during the wedding ceremony |
| Who is involved? | The couple, officiant, and optionally friends and family |
| What is the meaning? | Symbolises the union of two people and the creation of a blended family |
| What is the origin? | Unity candles first became mainstream in the 1970s as a Christian tradition, but have since been used in non-religious humanist weddings |
| Where to buy unity candles? | Etsy, Zazzle, Amazon, The Knot Shop, local shops like Michaels or Hobby Lobby |
| Decorations | Ribbons, engravings, meaningful quotes, colours matching the wedding theme |
| Rituals | Reciting a meaningful passage or poem, playing music, blowing out the taper candles after lighting the unity candle |
| Alternatives | Sand ceremony, wine box ceremony, tree planting ceremony |
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What You'll Learn

Choosing the right candle set
Candle Type and Colour
The unity candle ceremony traditionally involves three candles: two taper candles and a larger pillar candle. The taper candles are lit first and then used by the couple to light the larger centre candle together. The taper candles often differ in colour from the unity candle. Most couples opt for traditional white or ivory candles, but you can choose different colours to add a personal touch to your ceremony.
Candle Design and Accessories
You can decorate the candles with colourful ribbons or other decorations that match your wedding theme. You can also add personalised touches such as engraving the couple's names, the wedding date, or a meaningful quote on the unity candle. Candle holders, ribbons, and other accessories can be chosen to match the tone of your celebration.
Candle Size
It is recommended to choose long candles for the taper candles to make it easier to light the unity candle.
Candle Stability
Ensure that the candles have sturdy holders to prevent them from toppling over during the ceremony. Walker, a wedding officiant, emphasises the importance of choosing a strong base or candle holder that fits the unity candle securely.
Candle Safety
If your ceremony is outdoors, use hurricane lamps, which are glass coverings that shield the candles from being blown out by the breeze. Keep the candles' wicks deep inside the hurricane lamps, and have a matchbook or lighter nearby in case any candles need to be relit.
Candle Suppliers
You can find a wide range of designs and customisation options for unity candles on Etsy, Zazzle, and Amazon. Local stores such as Michaels or Hobby Lobby may also offer unity candle sets, although their selection might be more limited.
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Preparing for an outdoor ceremony
Preparing for an outdoor unity candle ceremony requires some extra considerations to ensure the ritual goes smoothly. Firstly, the weather conditions can be unpredictable, so it is advisable to have a backup plan. Windy or rainy weather can extinguish the candle flames, disrupting the ceremony. To prevent this, you can opt for hurricane glasses or hurricane lamps, which are glass coverings that shield the candles from the breeze. These protective coverings ensure the candle flames remain lit throughout the ritual. Alternatively, you can keep the unity candle inside a lantern or under a protective covering, reaching in to light it during the ceremony.
Another strategy is to time the candle lighting strategically. Instead of lighting the candles at the beginning of the ceremony, plan to light them as quickly as possible towards the end. This reduces the exposure time to the elements and increases the likelihood of a smooth candle-lighting process. If you are open to alternatives, non-candle unity ceremonies, such as a sand ceremony, a wine box ceremony, or a tree-planting ceremony, may be more suitable for outdoor settings.
When choosing your unity candle set, consider both aesthetics and durability. You can personalise the candles with engravings, colourful ribbons, or other decorations that match your wedding theme. However, it is crucial to prioritise a strong base or candle holder that fits your unity candle securely. This prevents accidental toppling during the ceremony.
In addition to the candles, you will need a table or platform to place them on during the ceremony. If you plan to involve the mothers or other family members in the candle lighting, ensure they are briefed on their roles and given appropriate candles or tapers to light.
Lastly, as the unity candle ceremony is a symbolic ritual, consider any words, poems, or passages you may want to recite during the ceremony. These additions can enhance the emotional impact of the ceremony and make it more personalised.
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Involving family and friends
Unity candle ceremonies are a popular way to symbolise the joining of two people and two families into one. The couple will light a single candle using two smaller candles, which are traditionally lit by their mothers.
There are many ways to involve family and friends in this ceremony. The couple may wish to ask a parent or friend to light the taper candles, or the couple may light them themselves. The mothers of the couple are often involved, but this role can be given to any member of the family or a friend. The couple may also choose to involve their children, or their wedding party.
If the couple wants to involve all their guests, they can give each guest an unlit candle as they enter the ceremony. The couple then lights the candle of someone in the front row, who passes the flame to the next person, and so on. Alternatively, the couple could ask a friend or family member to officiate the ceremony.
The table holding the unity candle can be decorated with meaningful items, such as flowers, herbs, crystals, framed photos of family members, colourful fabric tablecloths, and other items that speak to the couple's unique relationship.
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Adding decorations and personal touches
Unity candle ceremonies are a powerful way to visually symbolise the union of two people in love. Couples can choose to add decorations and personal touches to their unity candle ceremony to make the moment even more special and memorable.
One way to personalise the ceremony is by decorating the candles. Taper candles can be chosen in the wedding colours or decorated with ribbons or other decorations that match the wedding theme. The unity candle can be personalised with engravings of the couple's names, the wedding date, or a meaningful quote. Alternatively, couples can opt for candles in unique designs or different colours to add a special touch.
The table or platform where the candles are placed can also be decorated. Flowers, herbs, crystals, framed photos of family members, colourful fabric tablecloths, and other meaningful items that reflect the couple's unique relationship can be used to enhance the setting.
In addition to visual decorations, couples may choose to include special music, prayers, or readings during the ceremony. Reciting a meaningful passage or poem can add a layer of personal significance to the ritual. Including family members, such as parents or grandparents, is another way to personalise the ceremony. For example, having mothers or elders light the taper candles and say a few words can symbolise the joining of two families.
Couples can also choose to incorporate alternative unity ceremonies, such as a sand ceremony, a wine box ceremony, or a tree-planting ceremony, to create a unique and personalised experience that reflects their beliefs and values.
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The meaning and history of the ceremony
Unity candle ceremonies are a wedding ritual that symbolises the joining of two people in marriage. The ceremony is a powerful visual representation of two people in love, committing to each other, and the merging of their two lives into one.
The unity candle ceremony is a relatively recent tradition, and it is often chosen to represent the blending of two families. It is a popular ritual in non-religious, Christian, and Pagan weddings, and it can be adapted to have religious or non-religious meaning depending on the couple's beliefs.
The ceremony usually involves two taper candles, which are lit by a parent, friend, or the couple themselves, and then used to light a larger 'unity candle'. The taper candles may be decorated with ribbons or other unique touches, and the unity candle may be engraved with the couple's names or a meaningful quote. The candle lighting is often accompanied by the officiant describing the meaning of the ritual, or the couple reciting a meaningful passage or poem.
The unity candle ceremony is a simple yet meaningful way to symbolise the union of two people and their commitment to each other. It is a beautiful and memorable part of a wedding ceremony, creating a moment full of emotion and depth.
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Frequently asked questions
A unity candle ceremony is a symbolic ritual that takes place during a wedding ceremony. The couple each takes a lit taper candle and together lights a larger unity candle, symbolizing their union.
You will need three candles: two taper candles and a larger unity candle. You will also need a table or platform for the candles to rest on, and a lighter or matches.
The unity candle ceremony usually takes place after the couple has exchanged vows and rings. However, it can take place at any time during the ceremony.
The taper candles are usually lit by the mothers of the couple, but they can also be lit by the couple themselves, or another family member or friend.











































