Jessie Taylor
Unity candles are used in wedding ceremonies to symbolise the joining of two people in marriage. The unity candle ceremony is a symbolic ritual that takes place after the vow exchange, when the couple lights one main candle with two separate candles, representing the merging of two families and two individuals. The unity candle ceremony is thought to be a Catholic tradition, but it is performed by couples with varying religions and beliefs. It is a relatively new custom, with the ritual first becoming popular in the second half of the 20th century.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Ceremony type | Religious or non-religious |
| Ceremony time | After the vow exchange |
| Participants | Couple, officiant, parents |
| Props | Two taper candles, one larger candle |
| Symbolism | Unity of the couple, joining of two families |
| Ritual | Each member of the couple lights a taper candle and simultaneously lights a larger candle |
| Music | Quiet ceremony, music optional |
| Script | Officiant may read from a script |
| Variations | Taper candles may be blown out or remain lit |
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What You'll Learn
The unity candle's symbolism
Unity candles are used in wedding ceremonies to symbolise the joining of two people in marriage. The lighting of a unity candle is a relatively new custom, with the ritual first becoming popular in the second half of the 20th century, particularly in American Protestant weddings. The unity candle ceremony is often accompanied by a script that explains the symbolism of the ritual.
The unity candle ceremony typically involves each member of the couple taking a taper candle, which represents their individual lives, and simultaneously lighting a larger central candle, which symbolises their union and the merging of their two families. The taper candles may be lit by a parent or guardian from each side of the couple, representing their respective families. The individual taper candles may be blown out after lighting the central candle, indicating that the two lives have been permanently merged. Alternatively, the taper candles may remain lit, symbolising that the now-married partners retain their individuality within the union.
The unity candle ceremony is often led by an officiant, who may be a religious figure or a non-denominational wedding officiant. The officiant introduces the ritual, explains its symbolism, and may read from a script during the ceremony. The unity candle ceremony can be adapted to suit the beliefs and preferences of the couple, with variations in the script and the number of candles used.
For Christians, the unity candle ceremony may be compared to the Holy Spirit and Jesus, who is the light of the world within the souls of those who are baptised. The unity candle can also be employed in Catholic weddings as a sign of the baptismal unity of the couple, drawing parallels to the rite of baptism, where a newly baptised individual receives a candle lit from the Paschal candle, symbolising the "light of Christ".
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The officiant's role
The unity candle ceremony is a symbolic ritual in which the couple uses two small taper candles to light a larger 'unity candle', representing their individual lives becoming one through the commitment of marriage. The officiant plays a crucial role in facilitating and guiding this ritual.
Firstly, the officiant sets the tone and context for the ceremony. They may begin by sharing a reading or quote about love, marriage, and unity, such as an excerpt from Daphne Rose Kingma or a verse from the Bible. This introductory segment is an opportunity to reflect on the significance of the occasion and the unity candle ritual specifically.
After creating a meaningful atmosphere, the officiant will then describe the meaning and symbolism of the unity candle ritual. They might say something along the lines of: "These two candles represent the two of you as separate individuals, with your own lives, identities, and unique spirits. As you light the centre candle together, it symbolises the joining of your two lives into one, a union of your individual flames creating a brighter light."
At this point, the officiant will instruct the couple to light their individual taper candles and then use them to light the larger unity candle together. The couple may then place their taper candles back into their holders, leaving the unity candle lit for the remainder of the ceremony.
The officiant can also provide practical guidance and reminders during the ceremony. For example, ensuring the couple is positioned correctly, reminding them to blow out their taper candles, and providing matches or a lighter if needed.
Finally, the officiant may conclude the unity candle ceremony with a blessing or meaningful wish for the couple's future together. For example: "May the brightness of this flame shine throughout your lives, giving you courage and reassurance in darkness, warmth, and safety in the cold."
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The candle-lighting process
The ceremony usually begins with the officiant introducing the ritual and explaining its symbolism. The officiant may also choose to share a reading or quote that reflects the meaning of the ceremony. For example, they could say:
> "And so, [name] and [name] are each going to take a candle. The candle represents how they are two people with their own lives and identities. And they will join the flame into one, lighting a single fire that represents their lives, now joined forever as one."
Alternatively, the officiant could introduce the ritual with a personal description of the couple, such as:
> "A few years ago, when [name] and [name] were on that trip to Türkiye, they came across the perfect candles."
Following the introduction, a parent from each side of the couple may light the taper candles, which represent the couple and their respective families. The couple then takes these taper candles and uses them to light the centre unity candle together.
Some couples choose to relight their individual taper candles on each wedding anniversary to relive their vows.
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The origin of the tradition
The unity candle is a wedding tradition that first became popular in the second half of the 20th century in American Protestant weddings. The custom is relatively new, and its origins are unclear.
The unity candle is not part of any religion's official wedding ceremony. It is thought to have first been used in Catholic churches and then spread to other Christian denominations. It is also used in non-denominational ceremonies. The candle ceremony is not part of Anglican wedding ceremonies, although it may be allowed at the discretion of the pastor. Some Catholic churches do not permit unity candles because it is not a traditional element of the wedding Mass.
The unity candle is believed to have gained popularity after it was featured in a 1981 episode of the soap opera "General Hospital". Dr. Michael Portelli is also credited with popularizing the idea of a “Marriage Candle” when he used it in his wedding in the 1980s.
The unity candle ceremony involves the lighting of three candles: one representing the bride, one representing the groom, and one representing their covenant marriage. The mothers (or mothers and fathers) of the couple light the two outside candles to symbolize each individual family. The bride and groom then light the middle pillar candle together, symbolizing their two lives becoming one. This can also be interpreted as a Christian interpretation, especially in a mixed marriage between a Catholic and a Christian of another tradition.
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Variations of the ritual
The unity candle ceremony is a symbolic ritual that can be incorporated into both religious and non-religious wedding ceremonies. It is a modern tradition that gained popularity in the second half of the 20th century and is believed to have originated in American Protestant weddings.
Including Family Members
Some couples choose to involve family members in the unity candle ceremony, especially if they already have children, to symbolise the creation of their new family. The mothers of the couple often light the taper candles to express the joining of the two families, and they may say a few words as they do so. Alternatively, the couple's children can be invited to join them as they light the unity candle.
Decorating the Candle
Couples can decorate the unity candle with colourful ribbons or other decorations that match their wedding theme. They can also add personalised touches such as engraving their names or a meaningful quote on the candle.
Reciting a Passage or Poem
During the unity candle ceremony, the couple may choose to recite a meaningful passage or poem to symbolise their union. This can be done either before or after lighting the candle.
Using Different Types of Candles
The unity candle ceremony typically involves using two taper candles and one large pillar candle. However, couples can choose to use candles in different colours or with unique designs to add a personal touch to the ceremony.
Combining with Other Rituals
The unity candle ceremony can be combined with other rituals such as the sand ceremony, where two different colours of sand are poured into a single vase, symbolising the coming together of two individuals. Another alternative is the tree-planting ceremony, where two saplings are planted to represent the growth of the couple's love and life together.
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Frequently asked questions
A unity candle ceremony is a ritual that takes place during a wedding ceremony, where a couple lights a large candle together using two smaller taper candles. The lighting of the unity candle symbolises the joining of two individuals in marriage and the merging of two families.
A wedding officiant usually introduces the unity candle ceremony and explains the symbolism behind it. They might say something like: "Kelly and Madison are each going to take a candle. The candle represents how they are two people with their own lives and identities. And they will join the flame into one, lighting a single fire that represents their lives, now joined forever as one."
The unity candle ceremony usually takes place after the couple has exchanged their vows.
