Maddie James
Memorial candles have been used for centuries to pay tribute to the departed and keep their memory alive. They are believed to guide the souls of the departed and provide them with a spiritual light on their journey. In many cultures and religions, candles are lit as a symbol of remembrance and the continuation of the soul's journey after death. The gentle flickering flame serves as a reminder of the light that the departed brought into our lives. For survivors of suicide, lighting a memorial candle can provide a source of comfort and solace, allowing them to feel connected to their loved ones. Candle scrying is a technique similar to crystal or mirror gazing, which is said to allow communication with the dead. While gazing at the candle flame, one may start to see visions, and the dead may send thoughts, pictures, memories, or any information they wish to convey.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Method | Candle scrying |
| Preparation | Clear your mind and relax |
| Candle type | Any type of candle |
| Participants | Alone or in a group |
| Location | Anywhere meaningful to you or the person you are honouring |
| Process | Light the candle and gaze into the flame. Ask a specific deceased person to join you and focus on the flame. |
| Outcome | You may start to see visions, or the dead may send you thoughts, pictures, memories, or any information they feel you should know. |
| Questions | If the flame grows, that indicates 'yes', if it decreases, that indicates 'no'. |
| Safety | Never leave a candle burning unattended |
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What You'll Learn
- Candle scrying: clear your mind, light a candle, ask a specific person who has passed away to join you, and focus on the flame
- Candle lighting ceremonies: invite family and friends to light candles and share memories or verses about the deceased
- Memory tables: create a display with photographs, mementos, and a memorial candle to encourage reflection on the life of the departed
- Floating candles: use floating candles in a pond, lake, or bowl of water for memorials held near the water
- Yahrzeit candles: in Jewish culture, light a candle on the yearly anniversary of a loved one's death and let it burn for 24 hours
Candle scrying: clear your mind, light a candle, ask a specific person who has passed away to join you, and focus on the flame
Candle scrying is a technique that can help you communicate with your deceased loved ones. It is a simple method that does not require you to be a medium, and it is considered safer compared to other methods such as crystal or mirror gazing, which can sometimes trap spirits.
To begin candle scrying, find a quiet and comfortable space where you won't be disturbed. Take a few deep breaths and clear your mind. Relax your body and let go of any tension. Once you feel calm and centred, light a candle. Any type of candle will do, but ensure you follow basic candle safety practices and never leave a candle burning unattended.
With the candle lit, focus your attention on the flame. Gaze into the flame and invite the specific person who has passed away to join you. You can do this by calling their name or simply thinking of them intensely. Visualise them in your mind and remember your connection with them.
As you focus on the flame, allow your mind to wander. You may start to see visions or receive thoughts, pictures, memories, or other forms of communication from your deceased loved one. It may feel similar to having a lucid dream. Stay open and receptive to these messages. You can also ask questions, and the flame may respond—an increase in the flame's size indicates 'yes', while a decrease indicates 'no'.
Remember, candle scrying is a personal and individual experience. The process may be different for each person, and it may take practice to establish a clear connection. It is important to approach this with an open mind and a respectful attitude towards your departed loved one.
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Candle lighting ceremonies: invite family and friends to light candles and share memories or verses about the deceased
A candle lighting ceremony is a powerful way to honour and remember a loved one who has passed away. It is a universal symbol of remembrance, signifying the soul's journey after death. The gentle flickering flame represents the light that the departed brought into our lives, continuing to shine even in their absence.
Candle lighting ceremonies can be held anywhere meaningful to the deceased or those honouring them. This could be in a place of worship, such as a church or cathedral, or somewhere more personal, like their favourite park or even at home.
When inviting family and friends to a candle lighting ceremony, it is customary for each participant to have their own candle to light. This can be a traditional white candle, symbolising purity, peace, and the soul's journey to a higher realm, or a coloured candle chosen based on the deceased's favourite colour or the colour's symbolic meaning. For instance, red for love and passion, blue for tranquility and spirituality, or yellow for joy and happiness.
During the ceremony, each person can take turns lighting their candle and sharing memories, verses, or a few words about the deceased. This creates a powerful sense of community and connection, allowing everyone to reflect on the life and legacy of the departed and feel a tangible connection to their loved one. The ceremony can also include a moment of silence for prayer or personal conversation with the departed.
After the candle lighting ceremony, participants can further honour the deceased by reading verses or poems that hold special significance. This can be a heartfelt way to express emotions and feel a connection to the departed during difficult times, such as holidays. Additionally, creating a memory table or display area to showcase photographs, mementos, and the memorial candle can provide a space for attendees to explore and reflect on the life of the departed.
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Memory tables: create a display with photographs, mementos, and a memorial candle to encourage reflection on the life of the departed
Memory tables are a wonderful way to encourage reflection and remembrance of a departed loved one. They can be set up at home or at commemorative events, such as memorial services or funerals, and provide a space for people to connect with the life of the person being honoured. Here are some ideas for creating a meaningful memory table:
Choose a Variety of Photographs:
Select photographs that showcase different aspects of your loved one's life. Include pictures from their childhood, teenage years, and adulthood. If possible, add photos that capture significant moments, such as graduations, weddings, or the birth of children. These visual reminders will help trigger memories and stories that attendees can share with each other.
Select Meaningful Mementos:
Mementos are tangible reminders of special moments, hobbies, or interests of the departed. They can include items like a favourite book, a well-worn baseball cap, handmade crafts, or awards they received. Displaying these items on the memory table adds depth to the memories being shared and provides a more holistic view of their life.
Incorporate Symbolic Candles:
Memorial candles have long been used to pay tribute to the departed. They symbolise the continuation of the soul's journey and provide comfort to the bereaved. Choose a candle that holds significance. This could be a traditional white candle, symbolising purity and peace, or a Coloured Candle that was their favourite shade or held personal meaning for them, such as red for love or blue for tranquility.
Personalise the Candle:
Consider adding a personal touch to the memorial candle. You can find candles that can be personalised with your loved one's name, a special message, or even a photograph. This makes the candle a unique part of the display and reinforces the idea that their life was valuable and worthy of remembrance.
Create a Sacred Space:
The memory table should invite reflection and encourage attendees to share their memories and feelings. Ensure the table is in a quiet area, free from distractions, to foster a peaceful atmosphere. You may also want to include a guest book or journal where visitors can write messages, thoughts, or memories that they didn't get a chance to share aloud.
Setting up a memory table is a heartfelt way to honour your loved one and create a space for remembrance and connection. It allows attendees to explore the life of the departed and find solace in shared memories and the enduring light of the memorial candle.
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Floating candles: use floating candles in a pond, lake, or bowl of water for memorials held near the water
Floating candles are a beautiful addition to memorials held near water. They are inspired by Hindu ceremonies in Varanasi, India, where families gather by the Ganges to release their loved one's ashes into the river, accompanied by petals and floating candles. The floating light is believed to guide the spirits and uplift them on their journey, uniting the community in a mesmerising spectacle.
Floating candles can be placed in a pond, lake, or even a decorative bowl filled with water. They are meticulously handcrafted using natural beeswax and coconut shells, ensuring they are non-toxic and fully biodegradable. This original design, inspired by traditional craftsmanship, aligns with a commitment to environmental responsibility.
These candles create a serene and ethereal ambiance, enhancing the memorial with their symbolic presence and gentle light. They add a profound layer of meaning to the ceremony, providing a visually stunning tribute. The floating candles drift off alight, creating a special ending or a moment for quiet reflection and prayers.
When using floating candles, it is important to never leave them burning unattended. The candles can be lit by those gathered at an important part of the ceremony, providing a sacred space for reflection and connection with the departed. The gentle flickering flame serves as a reminder of the light that their loved one brought into their lives, offering solace and comfort during the grieving process.
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Yahrzeit candles: in Jewish culture, light a candle on the yearly anniversary of a loved one's death and let it burn for 24 hours
In Jewish culture, the yearly anniversary of a loved one's death is known as Yahrzeit, which translates to "time of year" from Yiddish. It is customary to light a Yahrzeit candle, also known as a Yizkor candle, at sundown on this day and let it burn for 24 hours until it extinguishes itself. This tradition is also observed on four Jewish holidays: Yom Kippur, Shemini Atzeret, Passover, and Shavuot. These holidays include a Yizkor, or Jewish memorial service.
The Yahrzeit candle is typically packaged inside a glass jar and can be purchased at Judaica stores, supermarkets, or online. It is meant to remind people of the fragility of life and to keep the memory of the deceased loved one alive. During the burning of the candle, family and friends can gather and share stories and memories of the person who has passed away.
If you are unable to obtain a Yahrzeit candle or have safety concerns, it is acceptable to use an electric memorial light. Some people may also choose to use candle scrying as a way to communicate with the deceased. This involves gazing into a candle flame and focusing on the person you wish to contact. You may then start to see visions or receive thoughts and memories from them.
For those who wish to observe Yahrzeit according to the Hebrew date of death, there are online date calculators that can help determine the correct day. Additionally, Jewish funeral homes often provide an annual calendar to assist mourners in keeping track of the anniversary.
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Frequently asked questions
Candle scrying is a technique similar to crystal or mirror gazing, where you can communicate with the dead. To do this, find a quiet place and light a candle. Clear your mind and focus on the flame. Invite your deceased loved one to join you and ask them questions. You will receive answers in visions, thoughts, pictures, memories, or any information they want you to know.
You can use any candle that holds meaning for you or your deceased loved one. Traditional memorial candles are white, but you can also choose a coloured candle based on their favourite colour. For instance, red for love and passion, blue for tranquility and spirituality, or yellow for joy and happiness.
You can light a memorial candle anywhere that holds meaning for you or your deceased loved one. This could be at home, their favourite park, or even by their gravesite.
Yes, you can perform a candle lighting ceremony with friends or family. Each person can light a candle and take turns sharing memories or speaking to the deceased. This creates a powerful sense of community and connection.
