Unity Candle Ceremony: A Guide To Symbolizing Your Union

how to unity candle ceremony

Unity candle ceremonies are a popular ritual at weddings, symbolizing the joining of two people in marriage. The ceremony involves the couple using two taper candles to light a larger 'unity candle' simultaneously, representing the union of their lives and their families. The unity candle ceremony is not specific to any religion and can be personalized with different colours, engravings, and rituals. It is a modern tradition, gaining popularity in the second half of the 20th century, and is a beautiful way to visually represent the couple's love and commitment.

Characteristics Values
Occasion Weddings
Participants Couple, officiant, friends and family (optional)
Symbolism Union of the couple, joining of two families, bright years ahead, romantic love
Candles 3 (2 taper, 1 pillar)
Timing Immediately after vows
Music Optional
Readings Optional
Cost £15-£60 ($20-$75)

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Choosing the candles

Unity candle ceremonies are a beautiful and meaningful way to symbolise the joining of two people and their families. The ceremony is usually performed at weddings, but it can also be adapted for other types of ceremonies.

The unity candle ceremony involves lighting two smaller taper candles and using them to light a larger centre candle, also known as the "unity candle". This ritual represents the merging of two people and their families into one blended family. The smaller taper candles represent the individuals, while the larger candle symbolises the union and the creation of a new family unit.

When choosing the candles for your unity candle ceremony, there are a few things to consider:

Number of Candles

Typically, a unity candle ceremony involves three candles: two taper candles and one larger centre candle. However, some couples may choose to include additional taper candles to involve their friends, family, best man, or maid of honour. In blended family weddings, there may be a separate taper candle for each child, which is used to light the larger candle, symbolising the entire family unit.

Candle Size

The two taper candles should be smaller in size compared to the larger centre candle. The taper candles are meant to be lit first and then used to light the larger candle. The size difference symbolises the individuals coming together to create something bigger and more powerful.

Candle Colour

You can choose to have the taper candles in your wedding colours to add a personalised touch. Alternatively, you can opt for traditional white candles, which symbolise purity and new beginnings.

Candle Type

When selecting the type of candle, consider the setting of your ceremony and whether it will be held indoors or outdoors. For outdoor ceremonies, especially on windy days, it is advisable to choose candles that are less likely to blow out, such as pillar candles or candles in glass holders.

Candle Decorations

To make the unity candle ceremony even more special, you can decorate the candles with colourful ribbons or other decorations that match your wedding theme. Engraving the couple's names, a meaningful quote, or even printing family trees on the larger unity candle are also popular ways to personalise the experience.

Candle Holders

Consider purchasing candle holders or stands to securely place the candles during the ceremony. This adds stability and ensures the candles remain lit throughout the ritual.

Candle Kit

If you prefer a more cohesive look, you can opt to purchase a unity candle kit, which typically includes the three candles and sometimes the candle holders as well. These kits can be found online at various price points, ranging from £15-£60 ($20-$75).

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Who lights the candles

Unity candle ceremonies are a popular ritual at weddings, representing the joining of two families and the merging of two people. The ceremony involves the couple using two taper candles to light a larger 'unity candle' together, symbolising their union and the blending of their families.

There are a few options for who lights the candles. The most common practice is for the couple to light the unity candle together, symbolising their union. The taper candles, representing each individual, are often lit by the mothers of the couple or their children, especially if it is a second marriage. This can also be done by other family members such as grandparents, or the couple themselves. The taper candles may be lit before the ceremony begins, or the mothers/children may light them at the start of the unity candle ceremony.

The unity candle ceremony can also include other loved ones, such as friends and family, the best man and maid of honour, or children from blended families. These participants can light the taper candles, which are then used by the couple to light the unity candle.

The wedding officiant is also an integral part of the ceremony, often explaining the symbolism of the ritual and offering words of wisdom to the couple before they light the unity candle. The officiant or another wedding attendant will then blow out the candles and put them away as a keepsake for the couple.

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What to say during the ceremony

Unity candle ceremonies are a popular ritual at weddings, symbolizing the joining of two people and their families. The ceremony is usually led by an officiant, who may say a few words about the couple and the symbolism of the ritual. The couple then lights a larger unity candle together, using their smaller taper candles.

"We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of [bride/groom] and [groom/bride]. This ceremony is a symbol of the bright years that lie ahead and the joining of two families. As these two individuals come together in marriage, their lives will be forever merged, and their love will only grow stronger with time. Today, we witness the blending of two families into one, who will support this marriage and the couple's new life together."

At this point, the couple will light the unity candle together. The officiant may then invite the couple to blow out their taper candles, symbolizing the joining of their lives. The couple may also choose to recite a meaningful passage, poem, or a few words of their own at this time.

Some couples may also choose to include their friends and family in the ceremony. For example, the mothers of the couple could light the initial taper candles, saying a few words as they do so, before passing them to the couple to light the unity candle. Alternatively, the taper candles could be passed around the wedding party and guests, who can be asked to say a silent blessing or positive thought for the couple.

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Music and other additions

Unity candle ceremonies are often quiet, but music can be played in the background. The ceremony is usually very short, lasting only about a minute, so the song you choose should not be too long. You could have a short version of a song played, or have musicians on hand to adjust the length as needed.

If you want to include other people in the ceremony, you could have friends or family light the taper candles, or even include separate taper candles for each child, to be lit alongside the couple's candles to symbolise the entire family.

You can also add personal touches to the candles themselves, such as engraving your names on them, printing family trees on the larger unity candle, or matching the design and colour of the candles to your wedding theme.

  • "Grow Old Along with Me" by Mary Chapin Carpenter
  • "I Would, I Could, I Do (Duet)" by Treela
  • "What a Wonderful World"
  • "Hallelujah" by Jeff Buckley
  • "Beautiful in My Eyes" by Joshua Kadison
  • "The Wedding Song" by Paul Stookey
  • "From This Moment" by Shania Twain
  • "I Will Be Here" by Edwin McCain
  • "This Ring" by Anthony Carter
  • "Angels" by Robin Thicke
  • "Nothing Else Matters" by Metallica
  • "Ave Maria" by Beyoncé or Renée Fleming
  • "The Prayer" by Celine Dion
  • "Perfect Symphony" by Ed Sheeran
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Safety and logistics

Candle Safety

Firstly, ensure that all candles are placed on a stable surface, preferably on a table with candle holders, to prevent any accidents. The table should be at an appropriate height for the couple, so they don't have to bend down, and clear of any drapery or flammable decorations. It is also essential to keep a safe distance from the candles and to have a fire extinguisher or a bucket of sand nearby in case of any mishaps.

Rehearsal and Preparation

It is imperative to prepare and rehearse the unity candle ceremony before the wedding day to ensure everything runs smoothly and safely. This includes setting up the candles and any decorations on the table, testing the lighters, and practising the lighting sequence.

Clothing and Decorations

Be mindful of clothing and decorations during the ceremony. Long, flowing fabrics or flammable materials near the candles should be avoided. Keep the area around the candles clear, and ensure that any decorations are securely fastened and will not interfere with the candle lighting.

Lighting the Candles

To avoid burnt fingers, use long-reach lighters or matches for lighting the candles. It is also a good idea to have backup lighters or matches in case of failure. If children are participating in the ceremony, ensure they are supervised and carefully instructed on safe handling of the candles and lighters.

Venue Considerations

When setting up the unity candle ceremony in a new or unusual venue, consider the space and any potential safety hazards. Ensure there is adequate ventilation if the venue is indoors, and be mindful of any drafts or wind if outdoors, as this could affect the candles' flames.

By following these safety and logistical guidelines, you can ensure that your unity candle ceremony is both meaningful and incident-free.

Frequently asked questions

A unity candle ceremony is a symbolic ritual in which a couple uses two small taper candles to light a larger 'unity candle', representing the merging of their two lives into one.

The unity candle is typically lit immediately after the couple says their vows. The individual candles are lit at the start of the ceremony, often by the mothers of the couple or by children from a previous marriage.

The unity candle ceremony usually involves just the couple, but some couples choose to include their friends and family or their best man and maid of honour by having them light the taper candles.

You can personalise the ceremony with music, a prayer, or a meaningful passage or poem. An officiant may also say a sentence or two about the couple or the symbolism of the ceremony.

You can buy unity candles from online retailers such as Etsy, Zazzle, and Amazon, or you can make your own.

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