Ben Carter
Unity candle ceremonies are a popular ritual at weddings, symbolizing the union of two people in marriage. The ceremony involves lighting two taper candles, representing each partner, and using them to light a large pillar candle together, signifying their love and commitment. Couples usually choose to include this ritual after exchanging rings and before the pronouncement of marriage. The unity candle ceremony is often accompanied by a meaningful poem or passage recited by the couple or their mothers, who may also light the taper candles to symbolize the joining of two families. While it is a romantic gesture for indoor weddings, outdoor weddings may require extra planning to shield the candles from wind.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| When it takes place | After the vows and ring exchange, before the final remarks and official pronouncement/kiss |
| Who lights the candles | The couple, or their mothers or fathers, siblings, a child, a friend, or another family member |
| Who is involved | The wedding party or all guests can be included |
| What the ceremony symbolises | The union of two people in love, the joining of two families, or a religious symbol of commitment to God |
| What the candles represent | The two individuals coming together, the passion each partner has for their spouse, or the Holy Spirit and Jesus for Christians |
| Where the ceremony takes place | Usually indoors, but can be outdoors with extra planning and precautions |
| How to keep candles lit | Use hurricane lamps, deep candle wicks, votive candles, or matches/lighters |
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What You'll Learn
The unity candle ceremony is a symbolic ritual
The ritual symbolises the union of two individuals and the merging of their lives and families. It represents the couple's commitment to each other and their journey forward as a married couple. The two taper candles represent the couple as individuals, and the lighting of the unity candle symbolises the creation of a new, blended family. This ceremony is often performed after the exchange of vows and rings, but before the final remarks and official pronouncement of marriage.
The unity candle ceremony can be personalised in various ways. Couples may choose to include their wedding colours in the taper candles or have a custom-made unity candle with their names and wedding date. Special music, prayers, or other meaningful touches can also be incorporated. While the ceremony usually includes just the couple, some may opt to include their friends, family, best man, or maid of honour.
To ensure the safety and smooth execution of the ceremony, it is important to prepare in advance. This includes securing the candles, choosing an appropriate table or platform, and considering any necessary precautions, especially for outdoor weddings. For instance, using hurricane lamps to shield the candles from wind or breeze. Having a matchbook or lighter nearby is also recommended in case any candles need to be relit.
The unity candle ceremony is a beautiful and meaningful way to symbolise the love and commitment of the couple, as well as the blending of their families. It is a ritual that can be tailored to suit the unique needs and beliefs of the couple, making it a special part of their wedding day.
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The candle setup process and lighting order
The unity candle ceremony is a popular ritual in weddings, symbolizing the joining of two individuals and their families. It is usually performed after the couple's wedding vows and ring exchange, but it can also take place at any other time during the wedding ceremony.
The setup process involves securing two taper candles and a larger unity candle on a table or platform. If the wedding is outdoors, it is crucial to shield the candles with hurricane lamps to protect them from the breeze. The wicks should be deep inside these lamps to prevent them from blowing out. A matchbook or lighter should be kept nearby for relighting purposes, and veils should be kept away from the flames.
Before the ceremony, the taper candles can be lit by the couple's mothers, fathers, or close friends, who then pass them to the couple. Alternatively, the officiant may light the tapers and hand them to the couple while explaining the symbolism of the ritual.
During the unity candle ceremony, the couple is prompted by the officiant to light the larger unity candle together with their individual taper candles. They then blow out the taper candles while leaving the unity candle lit for the remainder of the ceremony.
Finally, once the ceremony is complete and the guests have exited, the couple traditionally blows out the unity candle together, symbolizing their unity and the start of their journey as a married couple.
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Outdoor weddings require extra planning
When inviting guests to an outdoor wedding, it is important to communicate the setting on the wedding website or invitations. This allows guests to prepare appropriate attire and accessories, such as extra layers for cold weather or heel stoppers for grassy terrain.
To create a memorable experience, couples can add special touches to the outdoor setting, such as textured curtains, tiebacks, chandeliers, and colourful cushions. It is also essential to consider the guest experience by providing comfortable amenities, such as luxury portable restrooms with music, countertops, heating or cooling options, fresh flowers, and monogrammed towels.
For an outdoor unity candle ceremony, it is crucial to shield the candles from wind or breeze to keep them lit. Hurricane lamps or glass coverings can be used for protection, and a matchbook or lighter should be kept nearby. The unity candle ceremony typically takes place after the vows and ring exchange but before the final remarks and official pronouncement.
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Poems and readings during the ceremony
The unity candle ceremony is a popular ritual at weddings, symbolizing the joining of two families and the creation of a new family unit. It is usually performed after the couple has exchanged their vows and rings, but before the final remarks and official pronouncement of marriage. During the ceremony, the couple lights a unity candle together, using two separate taper candles, representing their individual lives, families, and friends, coming together as one.
"The Joining of Two Flames" by Harold Douglas:
> Soft mists embrace two golden flames,
> Alone they search the night.
> Two souls adrift in dreams of love,
> They seek to claim the light.
> The path is long from which they came,
> But sure they are it’s right.
> Two flames embrace in dreams of love,
> Two Souls – Two Hearts Unite.
"The Circle of Life" by April Gismondi:
> The light that remains is the light of God’s love, the light in which you shall be forever as one.
"The Stream of Light" by Rev. Clint Hufft:
> And when two souls are destined to find each other, their two streams of light flow together, and a single brighter light goes forth from their united being. They do not lose their individuality; yet, in marriage, they are united in so close a bond that they become one.
"The Pledge" (Author Unknown):
> Above you, below you, forever surrounding you shall be the pledge you make unto each other today.
"The Meaning of Marriage" by Daphne Rose Kingma:
> When reflecting on the meaning of marriage, I came across an excerpt by Daphne Rose Kingma that I'd like to share with you [...] We gather here today to celebrate the most intimate of bonds between two people, marriage. You all have been invited here not just as guests to a wedding, but as close and important witnesses of the love that [Partner A] and [Partner B] share.
The unity candle ceremony is a highly customizable ritual, and couples can choose to incorporate their own favourite poems or readings that hold special meaning for them. This is a chance to express to the world what the blending of their families truly means, and it can be as unique and personalized as they wish.
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Alternatives to the unity candle ceremony
Unity candle ceremonies are a popular wedding tradition, but they are not for everyone. Here are some alternative rituals that you can incorporate into your wedding:
Sand Ceremony
One of the most popular alternatives to the unity candle ceremony is the sand ceremony. The couple pours different-coloured sand into a vase, shadow box, or hourglass, representing their individuality and their union. This is a great way to create a lasting keepsake from your wedding day.
Unity in Glass
A unique twist on the sand ceremony, Unity in Glass involves pouring different-coloured glass crystals into a container. After the wedding, the glass is sent to an artist who blows it into a sculpture, vase, or bowl, creating a one-of-a-kind memento of your special day.
Paint Ceremony
Similar to the sand ceremony, the paint ceremony involves pouring different-coloured paints onto a canvas. The paints mix and create a colourful keepsake that you can display in your home.
Soil and Seed Ceremony
In this ceremony, the couple pours soil from their childhood homes into a planter and adds a seed or tree sapling. As the plant grows, it symbolises the growth and strength of their love and union.
Unity Wine
The couple pours red and white wine into a single glass, creating a rose-coloured wine. They then toast each other as husband and wife, symbolising the blending of their lives and the creation of something new.
These alternatives offer creative and meaningful ways to symbolise unity and love during your wedding ceremony while veering away from the traditional unity candle ritual.
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Frequently asked questions
A unity candle ceremony is a symbolic wedding ritual involving two taper candles that are initially lit. The marrying couple then uses the taper candles to light a large pillar candle together, signifying the union of their lives and the love they share.
The unity candle is lit towards the end of the wedding ceremony, after the vows and ring exchange, but before the final remarks and official pronouncement/kiss.
The unity candle is lit by the marrying couple. However, the taper candles are often lit by the mothers of the couple or another family member or friend.
The flame of the candle can represent the passion each partner has for their spouse. For Christians, it can be seen as a representation of the Holy Spirit and Jesus, the Light of the World.
Unity ceremonies can also include sand ceremonies, tree planting, hand-fasting, wine ceremonies, and more.
