Chloe Adams
The unity candle ceremony is a symbolic ritual that is often incorporated into wedding ceremonies. The couple each takes a lit taper candle and simultaneously lights a larger 'unity' candle in the centre. This ceremony usually takes 2 to 3 minutes and symbolises the union of the couple and the joining of their two families. The ceremony can be personalised with music or readings, and the candles can be decorated or engraved to match the wedding theme.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Duration | 2-3 minutes |
| When it happens during the wedding | After the vows and ring exchange, before the final remarks and official pronouncement/kiss |
| Who lights the candle | The couple, although sometimes the taper candles are lit by a parent or elder |
| Whether to blow out the candle | Most couples leave the unity candle burning until the wedding is complete and the couple has made their exit |
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What You'll Learn
The unity candle ceremony's meaning
The unity candle ceremony is a symbolic ritual that usually takes place after the exchange of vows in a wedding ceremony. The ritual involves three candles: one taper candle for each partner, and a larger centre candle. The couple lights the centre candle simultaneously with their respective taper candles.
The unity candle ceremony symbolises the union of two individuals and the creation of a new family unit. The two taper candles represent the couple as individuals, and the centre candle represents the union of their love and the joining of their families. This ceremony is often accompanied by music or a reading that is meaningful to the couple.
The unity candle ceremony is a modern tradition that is thought to transcend any specific religion or belief system. It is most commonly performed in Christian and interfaith weddings but has also been incorporated into weddings of various religions and beliefs. For example, in Catholic and other Christian weddings, the candle's flame may represent the light of God carried within each partner, while in pagan weddings, unity candles may be lit on the solstice to symbolise a bountiful future.
The unity candle ceremony is typically brief, adding only 2 to 3 minutes to the wedding ceremony. The timing can be influenced by the length of any accompanying music or readings, as well as the amount of explanation and personalisation included by the officiant.
The unity candle ceremony is a highly personal ritual that can be customised to match the wedding's aesthetic and hold symbolic meaning for the couple.
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Who lights the unity candle
The unity candle ceremony is a symbolic ritual that takes place during weddings. It involves three candles: two taper candles and one centre candle. The ceremony represents the union of the couple and the creation of a blended family. The lighting of the unity candle usually happens right after the exchange of vows and rings, but some couples choose to do it before.
The unity candle is typically lit by the couple during the ceremony. Each partner holds a taper candle, representing their family, and simultaneously lights the larger centre candle. This symbolises their enduring commitment and the blending of their two families.
While the couple lights the unity candle, they may choose to have guests sing a song, recite a poem, play instrumental music, or have a meaningful reading in the background. The wedding officiant or celebrant may also explain the symbolism of the ritual to the guests.
Although the couple usually lights the unity candle, some couples choose to involve their friends and family in the ceremony. For example, the mothers of the couple or other family members may light the initial taper candles, symbolising their love and support for the marriage. The couple then uses these candles to light the unity candle together.
Ultimately, the choice of who lights the unity candle is up to the couple. They may choose to involve their parents, grandparents, siblings, children, or any other special person in their lives. The important thing is that the ceremony symbolises the union of the couple and their commitment to each other and their new family.
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When to light the unity candle
The unity candle ceremony is a symbolic ritual that usually takes place after the exchange of vows. The couple each takes a lit taper candle and simultaneously lights a larger 'unity' candle. The unity candle ceremony symbolises the merging of two individuals and their families.
There is no set time for the unity candle ceremony, and it can be personalised to fit in with the rest of the ceremony. It is usually held after the vows and ring exchange, but before the final remarks and official pronouncement or kiss. It is recommended to light the unity candle towards the end of the ceremony to avoid it being blown out by wind. The unity candle ceremony usually only adds 2 to 3 minutes to the wedding ceremony.
The unity candle ceremony can be personalised with music or a song that is meaningful to the couple and their families. The wedding officiant may explain the symbolism of the ritual to the guests, and offer a few words of wisdom to the couple before directing them to light the candle. The couple remains silent while lighting the candle.
The taper candles can be lit by a parent or elder, and then passed to the couple to light the unity candle. The mothers of the couple usually light the taper candles, but the choice is up to the couple. The taper candles are then set in candle holders, or passed to a wedding attendant to hold until the ceremony is over.
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What to say during the ceremony
The unity candle ceremony is a short ritual performed during a wedding ceremony to symbolise the joining of two people and their families. The couple will each light a candle and then simultaneously light a larger "unity candle". This usually takes around 2-3 minutes.
> Loved ones, we gather here to witness a special moment in the lives of [Couple’s Names]. Today, they come together not only as individuals but as a united couple, ready to embark on the journey of marriage. In this unity candle ceremony, we symbolise the joining of their two lives with the participation of their mothers.
>
> [Officiant motions for mothers to step forward with their candles] The lighting of these individual candles represents the unique light that each [Couple’s Names] brings into this marriage.
The officiant may then invite the couple to light the unity candle:
> So now, please share the light of your love and solidify the unity of your family.
While the unity candle is being lit, the officiant may say:
> As you commit to each other today, you’re creating a family circle of love. So may you always carry that light within each other, may you nurture and tend to the flame in each other’s hearts as you recognise your continuing importance in each other’s lives.
You could also include a poem, such as this popular unity candle poem by Harold Douglas:
> Soft mists embrace two golden flames, Alone they search the night. Two souls adrift in dreams of love, They seek to claim the light. The path is long from which they came, But sure they are it’s right. Two flames embrace in dreams of love, Two Souls – Two Hearts Unite.
Finally, the officiant may conclude with:
> May the light of this unity candle shine brightly, guiding [Couple’s Names] on their journey together, surrounded by the love and blessings of their families. As they move forward as partners in life, may they always remember the support and foundation of love that their mothers have provided.
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How long the ceremony takes
The unity candle ceremony is a symbolic ritual that usually takes place after the wedding vows have been exchanged. The ceremony typically adds only 2 to 3 minutes to the wedding ceremony.
The unity candle ceremony involves three candles: one taper candle for each partner, representing their respective families, and one centre candle, which symbolises the union of the couple and their two families. The taper candles are lit first, often by the mothers of the couple, and then the couple uses these candles to light the centre candle together.
The wedding officiant may explain the symbolism of the ritual to the guests and offer words of wisdom to the couple before directing them to light the candle. The couple usually remains silent during the lighting of the candle.
Some couples choose to personalise the ceremony by playing meaningful music in the background or engraving their names on the candle. If the ceremony is held outdoors, couples may want to consider using hurricane glasses to protect the candles from being blown out by the wind.
The unity candle is typically left burning until the wedding is complete and the couple has made their exit.
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Frequently asked questions
The unity candle ceremony typically adds only 2 to 3 minutes to the wedding ceremony.
It is recommended that the unity candles are not blown out until the wedding is complete and the couple has made their exit down the aisle.
The unity candle ceremony symbolises the union of two individuals and their families, and the creation of a new family unit.
The couple lights the unity candle together. Sometimes, the taper candles are lit by a parent or elder and then passed to the couple to light the unity candle.
The wedding officiant usually explains the symbolism of the ritual to the guests and offers a few words of wisdom to the couple before directing them to light the candle. The exact wording is up to the officiant.
