
Unity candle ceremonies are a popular ritual in weddings, symbolizing the union of two people in love. The ceremony involves lighting a large pillar candle, known as the unity candle, using two smaller taper candles. The couple may light the taper candles themselves or assign this role to their mothers or other family members. The unity candle ceremony is often performed after the exchange of vows, symbolizing the official union of two individuals and the merging of two families. Couples can personalize the ceremony by choosing candles that match their wedding theme, adding decorations or engravings, and reciting meaningful passages or poems.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Number of candles | 3 (2 taper candles and 1 unity candle) |
| Who lights the taper candles | Mothers of the couple, fathers, siblings, children, or friends and family |
| When it takes place | Before or after vows |
| What it represents | Union of two families and two individuals, everlasting love and devotion |
| Candle colour | Coral for a beach setting, or a family heirloom for a vintage soiree |
| Decorations | Ribbons or other decorations that match the wedding theme |
| Personalisation | Engrave the couple's names or a meaningful quote on the unity candle |
| Ceremony additions | Recite a meaningful passage or poem, or play music |
| Safety considerations | Use hurricane lamps for outdoor weddings, keep veils away from candles |
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What You'll Learn

Choosing the right candle
Choosing the right unity candle for your wedding ceremony can be challenging, given the array of options available. Here is a comprehensive guide to help you select the perfect unity candle for your big day.
Firstly, it is essential to understand the requirements of a unity candle ceremony. The ceremony traditionally involves three candles: two taper candles and a pillar candle in the centre, which is the unity candle. The taper candles are lit first and then used by the couple to light the unity candle together, symbolising their union.
Now, when it comes to choosing the right unity candle, there are a few key considerations. Firstly, think about the overall aesthetic of your wedding and select a candle that complements the theme and setting. For instance, if you're having a beach wedding, you might choose a coral-coloured candle surrounded by seashells and pebbles. Alternatively, for a vintage-themed wedding, consider using a family heirloom candle passed down through generations. You can also decorate the candle with ribbons or other accessories that match your wedding colours.
Another important factor is durability. Opt for a strong base or candle holder that fits your unity candle securely to prevent any accidents during the ceremony. If your wedding is outdoors, it is recommended to use hurricane lamps, which are glass coverings that shield the candles from being blown out by the breeze.
Additionally, you may want to personalise your unity candle to make it even more special. Consider engraving your names, wedding date, or a meaningful quote on the candle. You can also match the candle design and colour to your wedding theme or include decorations that symbolise your union, such as ribbons or family tree prints.
Finally, don't forget to purchase the necessary accessories, such as candle holders, to ensure the safe and elegant placement of the candles during your ceremony. A long-reach lighter is also recommended for ease of lighting and to avoid any burnt fingers!
Remember to involve your wedding planner and officiant in your plans, so they can guide you and ensure everything runs smoothly on your special day.
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Selecting who lights the tapers
The unity candle ceremony is a symbolic ritual that takes place after the vow exchange. The couple uses two separate taper candles to light a larger candle, representing the merging of two families and two individuals.
The lighting of the taper candles can be done by the couple or another friend or family member. Some couples choose to have their mothers light the taper candles before they light the unity candle. This is a way to honour and include their mothers in the ceremony. The mothers may also be asked to hold the taper candles again after the unity candle is lit. Alternatively, the tapers can be passed to a wedding attendant to hold until the ceremony is over. Couples can also choose to have their fathers, siblings, or children light the taper candles.
If you are including unity candles in your ceremony, it is important to inform your wedding planner and officiant. This allows you to discuss ideas and logistics and ensure that everyone knows what to expect during the ceremony. It is also important to prepare your unity candle ceremony ahead of time, especially if your wedding is outdoors. In addition to the candles, you will need a table or platform for them to rest on during the ceremony. If the ceremony is outdoors, the candles should be shielded with hurricane lamps to protect them from the breeze.
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Timing of the ceremony
The unity candle ceremony is a symbolic ritual that takes place after the vow exchange. The couple lights one main candle with two separate candles, representing the merging of two families and two individuals. The timing of the ceremony depends on how much or how little you say. Usually, lighting a unity candle will only add 2 to 3 minutes to the wedding ceremony.
To save time, set up a table near the wedding altar before the ceremony begins. Arrange the two small candles and the large unity candle so that they are easy to reach, and place a lighter or matches nearby. Some couples prefer to light the smaller candles before the wedding ceremony begins, so they are already lit and ready to go.
If you are having an outdoor wedding, it is important to prepare your unity candle ceremony ahead of time to ensure everything is executed according to plan. The candles should be shielded with hurricane lamps, which are glass coverings that protect the candles from the breeze. The wicks must be deep inside the hurricane lamps so they don't blow out during the ceremony.
Couples traditionally assign the role of taper candle lighter to each mother, but some also ask their fathers, siblings, or children to do the honours. No matter who you choose, it is recommended to select a family member with whom you have a close relationship and someone you want to include in your ceremony.
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Adding decorations
Unity candle ceremonies are a symbolic ritual that usually takes place after the vows have been exchanged. The couple lights one main candle, the unity candle, with two separate candles, representing the merging of two families and two individuals.
There are many ways to decorate unity candles and the area around them. The unity candle can be decorated with colourful ribbons or other decorations that match the wedding theme. Personalised touches can be added, such as engraving the couple's names or a meaningful quote on the unity candle. The taper candles can also be decorated with unique ribbons or other decorations to signify the two individuals that are coming together.
The table or platform that the candles are placed on can also be decorated. For example, the candles can be surrounded by seashells and pebbles for a beach wedding, or a family heirloom can be included for a vintage-themed wedding. For safety and to prevent candles from blowing out, hurricane lamps (glass coverings) can be used to shield the candles from any breeze.
Other decorative touches can be added to the ceremony, such as reciting a meaningful passage or poem, or including a sand ceremony, where two different colours of sand are poured into a single vase, symbolising the coming together of two individuals.
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Alternative unity ceremonies
Unity ceremonies are a symbolic activity performed by the couple during their wedding ceremony. Here are some alternative unity ceremony ideas:
Sand ceremony
A sand ceremony is a wonderful alternative to the unity candle ceremony. The couple mixes two different colours of sand into one container, symbolising their lives and hearts entwined. This ceremony is perfect for outdoor and beach weddings. You can even use glitter instead of sand!
Tree planting ceremony
The couple plants two saplings to signify the growth of their love and life together. This alternative is especially appropriate for nature lovers.
Water ceremony
Similar to the sand ceremony, the water ceremony involves blending two colours into one. This ceremony is a lot like watering a plant, and the couple can even plant some greenery as a symbol of their relationship.
Wine and love letters ceremony
The couple locks a bottle of wine and love letters they've written to each other in a box to be opened later in their marriage, such as on a milestone anniversary. Guests can also bring sealed envelopes with personalised messages to put into the box.
Bonfire
For an outdoor wedding, a bonfire is a unique alternative to a unity candle ceremony. The couple creates a designated fire pit and sparks a bonfire to signify their love.
Celtic handfasting
Celtic handfasting is a unique unity ceremony where the couple ties a knot to signify their bond. A fisherman's knot is recommended as it is the strongest knot and gets tighter with pressure.
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Frequently asked questions
A unity candle ceremony is a symbolic ritual where two taper candles are lit and used by the couple to light a large pillar candle together, signifying the union of their lives and the love they share.
The unity candle ceremony can take place before or after the vows and exchange of rings. Some believe that it should be done after the vows since that is when the "union" officially takes place.
It is important to select a strong base or candle holder that fits the unity candle to prevent it from falling over. If the ceremony is outdoors, use hurricane lamps (glass coverings) to shield the candles from the breeze. Couples can also choose to decorate the candles with ribbons or other decorations that match their wedding theme or engrave their names or a meaningful quote on the unity candle.











































