Tyler Brooks
Unity candles and sand ceremonies are popular choices for weddings, but they are not for everyone. Couples may be looking for something more unique, less religious, or less affected by the wind. There are many alternatives to unity candles and sand ceremonies, from the funny to the heartfelt.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Rose ceremony | The bride and groom exchange roses. Other variations include the families exchanging roses, the couple exchanging roses with their families, and the couple presenting their mothers with the roses. |
| Wine ceremony | The couple each takes a carafe of wine and pours it into a single glass, from which they both drink. |
| Truce bell | A bell is rung on the wedding day and placed in a central location in the couple's home. If they argue, they can ring the bell to remind them of their happiness. |
| Unity in Glass | The couple pours glass crystals of various colors into a container, which is then sent back to the company to be blown into a sculpture, vase, or bowl. |
| Unity painting | The couple pours different-colored paints down a canvas to create a colorful keepsake. |
| Unity sandwich | Each layer of the sandwich represents a different part of marriage. |
| Planting a tree | The couple pours cups of soil from their homes into a planter and adds a seed or tree sapling, symbolizing their love growing together. |
| Love letter ceremony | The couple writes love letters to each other and places them in a box with a bottle of wine, sealing the box during the ceremony. |
| Wedding time capsule | The couple puts a bottle of wine, letters from each other, family members, copies of vows, and other mementos into a box and locks or nails it shut during the ceremony, to be opened at a later date. |
| Handfasting | The couple ties their hands together with colorful ribbons instead of rope, symbolizing their union. |
| Circling | In Eastern European ceremonies, the couple circles the altar three times, representing their first steps together as husband and wife. In Hindu ceremonies, they circle the fire seven times. |
| Celtic Oathing Stone | The couple holds or puts their hands on a stone during their vows to "set them in stone." |
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Rose ceremony
A rose ceremony is a simple unity ceremony where the couple exchanges roses. This can be done in addition to the exchanging of wedding rings, with the couple giving each other a single red rose as a symbol of their love. The rose ceremony can also be performed at the beginning of the wedding ceremony, with the couple offering a rose to each of their mothers as a token of gratitude and a symbol of their eternal love.
The officiant can say something along the lines of: "This wedding celebration is a joining of two unique families who stood separate until today." "Her family will become his and his family will become hers. Their marriage will grow more lovely with each passing year, strengthened by the triumphs and challenges they will face, just as flowers are nourished by the sunshine and the rain."
The couple can also decide on a special spot where they can leave a rose for each other when they struggle to find the words to express what they feel. The rose placed in that spot will convey the message: "I still love you."
The rose ceremony can be adapted in various ways to suit the couple's preferences and can be a beautiful way to include family members in the celebration of their love.
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Unity in glass
The process involves the couple selecting colours that represent their shared spirit and choosing a vessel, such as a vase or a sculpture, to hold the glass. During the ceremony, the couple pours the glass crystals into the vessel, symbolising the blending of their lives. The glass crystals can also be personalised to include children or other loved ones who are coming together as a new family.
After the ceremony, the glass crystals are sent to a glass-blowing artist, who transforms them into a one-of-a-kind keepsake. This can take the form of a sculpture, vase, or ornament, with options for different pouring vessels to include all family members. The final product is a timeless reminder of the couple's special day, destined to evoke cherished memories for years to come.
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Time capsule
A time capsule is a great alternative to a unity candle or sand ceremony. It is a unique and sentimental way to commemorate your wedding that can involve your family and friends.
The basic idea is that you prepare a box with various items inside, which you then seal during your wedding ceremony. You can include a bottle of your favourite wine or champagne, love letters to each other, drawings or lists of memories, photographs, and even items like promise rings. You can also include letters from family members and friends, or copies of your vows.
After sealing the box, you can decide when you want to open it. Some couples choose a specific anniversary, while others simply decide to open it later in life. The time capsule is a fun and creative way to celebrate your wedding and create a lasting memory.
The time capsule can also be customised to your liking. You can order a custom box, or decorate it with your names and wedding date. You can also involve your officiant, who can explain the concept to your guests during the ceremony.
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Planting a tree
One way to incorporate this ritual into your wedding is to have a tree-watering ceremony. You can combine two containers of water into one and use it to water a small tree, either at the wedding venue or at your home afterward. This symbolises the union and nurturing of your relationship. If you're worried about your skills as a gardener, you could opt for a more manageable plant, such as a succulent.
Another option is to involve your families in the tree-planting ceremony. Each family collects dirt from a special place, such as the house you grew up in, and then you and your partner combine the dirt to plant a new tree, either at the venue or at your home. This variation symbolises the coming together of two families and the creation of a new family unit.
If you're concerned about the tree or plant dying, you may want to consider a different unity ritual, as the death of the tree could be seen as negative symbolism. However, some couples have replanted their tree after it died, and it stayed alive the second time. Alternatively, you could choose a hardier plant or opt for a different nature-themed unity ritual, such as a bonfire or a simple jigsaw puzzle.
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Circling the altar
In Jewish weddings, the bride traditionally circles the groom seven times, creating an invisible wall of protection against evil spirits, the glances of other women, and worldly temptations. The number seven is considered "magic" in Jewish tradition as it symbolises completeness and perfection. In Hindu ceremonies, couples circle the fire seven times, sealing their bond.
The act of circling is also observed in various Christian denominations, including Catholic, Lutheran, Anglican, and Methodist traditions. During Lent, priests and altar servers may process around the interior of the church, visiting the Stations of the Cross. In Freemasonry, candidates for the three principal degrees circumambulate the altar in a clockwise fashion, with the number of circumambulations depending on the degree being presented.
For your wedding, you can adapt the circling ritual to fit your unique ceremony. Here are some ideas to consider:
- Both partners can circle each other three times, then circle together once as a symbol of unity.
- Incorporate music or specific songs that hold a special meaning for you as a couple during the circling ritual.
- Personalise the ritual by including your own symbolism and meanings, such as circling to represent the blending of two families or the creation of a new family unit.
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