Ben Carter
Unity candles are traditionally lit during wedding ceremonies to symbolise the union of two people in marriage. However, in the event of a divorce, some people may want to perform a ritual to symbolically sever their ties to their former spouse. One way to do this is through a cord-cutting ceremony, where a candle representing the marriage is burned, and the cord connecting the two individuals is cut. This ritual can be a powerful way to gain closure and move forward from the divorce.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| What to do with the unity candle after divorce | Perform a burning ceremony to get rid of it |
| How to perform the burning ceremony | Take a candle representing yourself and one representing your ex-spouse or your marriage, tie twine between the two and light the candles |
| Who performs the ceremony | You can perform it yourself or ask a friend or family member |
| Where to perform the ceremony | In a firepit outdoors or indoors, depending on your preference and the weather conditions |
| What to do with the leftover candles | Keep them as mementos or give them to a close friend for safekeeping |
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What You'll Learn
Using the unity candle in a divorce ceremony
A unity candle from your wedding can be used symbolically in a divorce ceremony. This can be a powerful way to acknowledge the end of your marriage and reclaim your individual selves. Here is a suggested ritual:
Firstly, set up a safe space for your ceremony, especially if you are using an open flame. You may wish to have a fire pit or a candle holder to secure the candle. You could also use a small votive candle in a holder to light your unity candle, rather than a lighter. If you are using other items in your ceremony, such as twine, have these prepared.
The unity candle ceremony can be adapted to your needs. You may wish to have a friend or family member present, or you may prefer to perform the ritual alone. You could also include a poem or a reading that has significance for you.
Begin your ceremony by lighting the unity candle. You could use two smaller taper candles, representing you and your ex-spouse, to light the unity candle. If you have kept the two smaller candles from your wedding, you could use these.
Once the unity candle is lit, you may wish to read a statement of intention, such as: "Let this be the Unity Candle that you lit long ago. Its flame burns bright because it draws upon the lives and wills of both of you. Without your individual selves, there is no marriage, no third candle without the first two."
After this, light two new candles, one representing you and one representing your ex-spouse. You could tie twine between the two new candles as a physical representation of the connection being cut.
Finally, blow out the unity candle, symbolically releasing the energy from your marriage and reclaiming your heart.
This type of ceremony can be a powerful way to gain closure and move forward after a divorce.
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Lighting individual candles and blowing out the unity candle
The unity candle ceremony is a popular ritual in wedding celebrations. It involves lighting two taper candles, typically by the mothers of the bride and groom, and then lighting a central unity candle together. The unity candle is meant to symbolise the couple's love and unity, with the two taper candles representing their individual spirits.
In the context of a divorce, a reverse unity candle ceremony can be performed to symbolise the end of the marriage and the reclaiming of one's individual identity. Here is a suggested ritual for lighting individual candles and blowing out the unity candle:
- Set up the ceremony: Prepare a safe and meaningful space for the ritual. Have the unity candle from your wedding, along with the two taper candles, candle holders, and a long-reach lighter. You may also want to include a poem or meaningful reading.
- Light the unity candle: Begin by lighting the unity candle. This can be done by one person or both partners together.
- Light the taper candles: Each person should then take their taper candle and light it from the flame of the unity candle. As you light your candle, you may want to recite the following or similar words: "Let this be the Unity Candle that we lit long ago. Its flame burns bright because it draws upon our lives and wills. Without our individual selves, there is no marriage, no third candle without the first two."
- Extinguish the unity candle: After lighting their taper candles, each person should blow out the flame of the unity candle together, symbolising the release of the energy from the marriage and the taking back of their hearts.
- Ritual closure: Take a moment to reflect on the ceremony and acknowledge the end of your marriage. You may want to include a reading, poem, or music to mark this transition.
It is important to personalise the ceremony to make it meaningful for you. For example, you may choose to perform the ritual outdoors, include instrumental music, or recite a poem that holds significance for you. Additionally, you may want to have a close friend collect the candles and keep them safe after the ceremony.
This type of ritual can be a powerful way to bring closure and positive transformation to your life after divorce.
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Keeping the unity candle safe after the wedding
Unity candles are a popular and beautiful ritual to include in your wedding ceremony. They symbolise the joining of two people and their families.
If you want to keep your unity candle safe after your wedding, it's a good idea to ask a close friend to collect the candles after the ceremony and keep them safe until after the wedding festivities. That way, you don't need to worry about storing them safely during the celebrations.
You could also consider practising with the candles before the wedding. This will ensure that they are easier to light on the day and reduce the chance of them being blown out by the wind.
After the wedding, you should store your unity candle somewhere safe and dry. It's a good idea to wrap it in acid-free paper and keep it in a box, away from any extreme temperatures or sunlight, which could cause it to melt or discolour.
Some people like to keep their unity candle as a memento of their wedding day, while others might choose to light it on special occasions, such as anniversaries, to remember their wedding vows.
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Using a unity candle for a beach wedding
If you're planning a beach wedding, there are a few things to consider when incorporating a unity candle into your ceremony. Firstly, it's important to choose a candle that fits your overall aesthetic. For a beach wedding, you might opt for a coral-coloured candle surrounded by seashells and pebbles to channel the setting.
Another important consideration is the wind. Beach weddings can be windy, and you don't want your unity candle to be blown out during the ceremony. To mitigate this, consider using a hurricane glass to protect the flame. It's also a good idea to practice lighting the candle in similar conditions beforehand, and to have the candles pre-lit so they light more quickly.
In terms of the ceremony itself, there are a few options for how to incorporate the unity candle. One option is to have the mother of the bride and groom light the individual candles, and then the couple lights the pillar candle together. Alternatively, you can have three candles, one for each side of the family, and one that the couple lights together.
The unity candle ceremony typically takes place after the vow exchange, symbolising the merging of two families and two individuals. It can be placed before or after the ring exchange, but should come before the final remarks and official pronouncement or kiss.
If you're concerned about the logistics of lighting a candle on a windy beach, there are other unity ceremony options to consider, such as a sand ceremony, which is also a popular choice for beach weddings. This involves pouring sand from two separate containers into one, symbolising the union of two individuals.
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The symbolic meaning of the unity candle
The unity candle ceremony is a popular tradition in weddings. It involves lighting a unity candle, which symbolises the couple's love, commitment and union. Typically, the unity candle is lit immediately after the couple says their vows, symbolising that they have been joined in matrimony.
The unity candle is usually a larger pillar candle, lit by two smaller taper candles. The smaller candles may be lit by the mothers of the couple, or by the couple themselves, before being used to light the unity candle together. This symbolises the joining of two families and two individuals, now working together to keep their love and commitment aflame. The ceremony may be accompanied by music, a poem or a meaningful reading.
The unity candle is left burning for the remainder of the wedding ceremony, and the couple traditionally blows it out together at the end of the ceremony. The unity candle ceremony can be personalised, with some couples choosing to engrave their names or print family trees on the candle, or to match the candle design to their wedding theme.
After a divorce, some people may wish to perform a ritual to release the energy from the marriage. This could involve lighting the unity candle again, and then blowing it out to signify cutting ties and leaving the past behind.
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Frequently asked questions
The unity candle ceremony is a wedding ritual where the couple lights a unity candle, usually after exchanging their vows. The unity candle is lit using two taper candles, which may be lit by the mothers or children of the couple, or even the couple themselves.
The unity candle symbolises the couple's love and commitment to each other. The individual taper candles represent the couple's individual selves, and the unity candle represents their new life together as a married couple.
There is no set ritual for what to do with a unity candle after a divorce. Some people may choose to dispose of it through a burning ceremony or cord-cutting ritual. Alternatively, you may want to create a new ritual that symbolises your divorce and helps you move on emotionally.
